Miracle Monkey

Hobo: Things would be different if Miracle Monkey were here.

            We could cross the road.

            Oh, wait. That’s Miracle Chicken.

            Man, I could sure go for some pork rinds and jello!

Popeye: I could go for some spinach and jello.

The Pope: I could go for a crème cheese sandwich.

But there’s no bread.

And no cream cheese.

And no bread or cream cheese in the refrigerator.

And no refrigerator.

I could use a Miracle.

Miracle Monkey.

Popeye: I could go for a cream cheese sandwich with spinach.

Dog to cat sitting on swimming pool’s edge fishing: There’s no water in that pool.

Cat: No problem. There’s no bait on my hook.

Dog: Are you going to eat that last doughnut?

Popeye: Do not have any spinach doughnuts?

Me: Christ!

Cat: Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objects_in_mirror_are_closer_than_they_appear

The Pope: Is that a cedar-lined closet.

I like cedar-lined closets.

I’ve had some problems with moths over the years.

Popeye: Can you store spinach in a refrigerated cedar-lined closet?

Piranha Poem

The lake freezes solid
protecting the baby piranha
from the stomping boots
of my marching band practice
I play the tuba
God sends an angel
she dances on the ice
her ballet shoes
filled with dynamite
she take them to fish heaven

Ahh…. there’s Miracle Monk